


Where is the Fragrance of the Sweet Juniberries?

by Espanholina



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, AU where Voltron doesn't exist, AU where Zarkon and Honerva didn't get insane with quintessence, Allura pov, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Character Study, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hanahaki Disease, Honerva POV, Lotor POV, Merla is actually only mentioned in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-06-29 23:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15739326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Espanholina/pseuds/Espanholina
Summary: Lotor and Allura have been best friends for as long as they can remember. Unfortunately, when Allura receives the news Lotor was promised to marry a princess form a far away land, she is surprised by a horrible desease that is spreading through the galaxy killing the victims of unrequited love.





	1. Old Friends and a New Plague

**Author's Note:**

_"Hanahaki Desease_ , _a desease in which a victim of one-sided love begings to have flowers blossoming in their lungs. The victim starts throwing up flowers until the plants grow full size and their roots suffocate the being to death._

_This new desease has been brought into our galaxy by infected voyagers from Planet Terra and has spread throught our system. The only known cures are the victim's love being reciprocated, or a cirurgic removal of the flowers. The last including permanet side effects, where the person becomes uncapable of feeling romantic love ever again._

_Altough there are no reports of the Hanahaki desease on our planet, we warn all alteans and beg for their caution. King Alfor has forbidden the entrance of ships coming from infected planets until further notice...."_

Allura and Lotor were at her castle's Bridge watching the transmition. Two serious faces trying to hide their fear.

Allura turned to the purple skinned prince, his eyes still locked on the screen. "News on Daibazaal?"

"We still have no cases, but my parents are just as preocuppied. Many plantes near us have been infected already, we don't know how long it will take to reach us."

He turned to look at her. A hint of sadness in his eyes. "I have to go back, my parents are urging me to come home as soon as I can, they will be closing the borders soon and apparently they need my help with a certain treaty back home."

"I understand. Just... be careful."

"I will. You too." Lotor gave Allura a soft smile and hugged her as they said their goodbyes. 

* * *

 

After finishing her royal duties, Allura was left to her thoughts. She couldn't help but be worried about this plague, about her planet, about... herself.

She remembered the day they had met.

Zarkon and Honerva had come to Altea to disscuss the new advances on a new research they had started and decided to bring the young prince to meet the home of their closest allies and friends.

She could easily recall her first impression of him, of how he looked like a weird purple altean. He wasn't ugly, no. In fact he looked like a dashing young boy.  He had gotten most of his features from his mother, that was a fact, but he didn't have altean markings. He stood still as his parents introduced him, but she clearly noticed the energy emanating from him, some kind of anxiety. The boy was eager to impress his parents, as she later found out, it was his first time traveling with them and he didn't want it to be the last one.

They were left with a care-taker in the Junniberry fields. It didn't take long before they got comfortable with each other and started running around the fields together, playing in the flowers.

"Do you wanna see something cool?" Allura started changing her skin tone to a lavender purple and her sclera to yellow, her arms and legs increased size.

She looked like a galra, or actually, half galra and half altean, like him. Lotor was mesmerized. "This is amazing, I wonder if I can do it too."

Allura tried helping him, he concentrated, he shut his eyes tight... but nothing happened. "I'm sorry" she said as she saw his dissapointed face. "It's alright. Here, let me show something cool I can do!"

Lotor showed Allura his hybermobile habilities, she was a bit shocked at first but impressed nonetheless.

They both had a lot of fun with each other and at the end of the day Lotor was already asking his mother when he could see the little princess again. Both his and Allura's parents smiled at the boy. 

As the deca-phoebs went by Lotor and Allura would visit each other as often as they could, each visit increasing their friendship and liking of one another. It didn't take them long to become best friends.

But one day, during one of Altea's diplomatic parties, things started to change between them...

"Allura!" She heard Lotor calling, but when she turned to look at him her eyes grew wide, there was something different in his figure.

She noticed how his elfin features made him attractive, how his smile was sharp but still had that boyish flair to it. His eyes were piercing and she felt like he could see her soul through them. His long white hair wavy and elegant. She noticed his ears too, were they always this pretty?

Had _he_ always been this pretty?

She catched her breath... What was happening to her? When he approached her she felt a nervousness she never did before. She wanted to be closer to him but at the same time she was afraid to do so.

She tried greeting him the way they always did but she was too scared of herself to make much conversation. Lotor didn't make things better when he invited her to dance.

"Allura are you feeling alright tonight?" _Of course_ he would notice her unusual behavior.

"I am, why do you ask?" She faked a smile. She was lying but not even she knew what was happening to herself. What was she to tell him?

He arched an eyebrow, giving her a dubious look. "You seem very nervous."

"Maybe I am a little. But to be honest, I don't know why."

"I guess I wouldn't know either. It's not like it is your first diplomatic event." Lotor continued to look at her trying to guess why was Allura suddenly avoiding eye contact with him. He knew something was making her unconfortable and he hated being unable to help her.

"You know, I didn't tell you before but you are looking absolutely stunning." He said as he looked at her with a sweet expression as they danced through the ballroom.

"Thank you... so are you." She responded him with a friendly expression and a soft smile but she felt the heat rising in her cheeks.

Maybe she was begining to understand her nervoussness.

_Oh no._

"It has been a while since we've seen each other." She tried to change to a less unnerving topic.

"Yes, we have been quite busy lately, I was starting to miss our talks. Even the most well cultured generals on Daibazaal are extremely tedious when compared to you." He laughed and she mentally cursed him for making her attempt go in vain.

They continued to dance. Their hands held together, a spin, then one of his hands landed on her hip. He never took his eyes off of her and she wondered what was going on in his mind. What was happening to her...

Her eyes fell on his lips, she felt an urge to grow closer, it became hard for her to breathe and that is when realization came to the princess.

Allura was in love with Lotor.

* * *

 

Since the Hanahaki Desease became an iminet threat on their system, Allura began fearing for her own life.

She had feelings for the galran prince but had refused to tell him. She was afraid not only of being rejected but of also losing her best friend.

Allura was always the happiest with him, they both had a shared love for their altean culture. Since they were kids Lotor spoke of Oriande and how they would find that place one day and use the knowledge they acquired there to continue their parents legacy and bring peace to rest of the universe... together. He never believed that to be a legend and she loved hearing how he talked about it so passionately. How her jokes would always make him laugh. How much she loved his drawings. Specially when he drew her. She always looked a fairy tale like creature in his works, beautiful and celestial, Lotor would tell Allura he only drew what he saw and that made her heart flutter.

Allura coudn't draw even if her life depended on it, but she loved playing instruments. She could play the strings of the Reexusbeefurnofus for hours. Lotor would watch her play and sometimes even sing along to a few familiar altean tunes. 

They would also train combat together. Allura and Lotor grew up to be very skilled fighters, who throughout the years left a few scars on each other's bodies. 

But not a single scar Lotor could have given her in a combat would hurt as much as the sudden feeling she was about to experience.

"Yes, I was just as surprised." Allura recognized Coran's voice, it was coming from one of the chambers, the door was slighty open.

"In my opinion the Prince is still too young, but if Zarkon is so eager to seal an alliance with Planet Calyac..." He twirled his mustache while rummaging the thought. He was talking with one of the maids, Dhal.

_What?_

"I agree, besides, I heard rumors that Princess Merla is quite unagreeable. Poor Prince Lotor, I hope the rumors are false."

_No, it can't be.._

_"My parents are urging me to come back as soon as I can."_

_"They need my help with a certain treaty back home."_

She remembered him say. Could it be that he didn't know? But maybe she just misunderstood the conversation...

"I'm sure they are false. Zarkon may want to sign this treaty but he wouldn't just marry his son to any disrespectful aristocrat like that..." Coran's words hit Allura like a punch to the stomach.

She felt truly sick and as the tears rolled down her face she ran back to her quarters.

All of a sudden Allura felt unable to breathe, like something was stuck in her chest. She coughed and coughed for who knows how many doboshes, her throat and head ached and she was tired. Allura grew desperate as nothing but drops of saliva left her mouth until she finally felt something leaving her lungs and come to her mouth. She spit it out on the ground of her bathing room and looked at it incredulously.

"No...no. Please, no." She began to sob as many more tears rolled down her face.

"Princess Allura, are you alright?" Coran burst into her room, anxiety and worry filling his face. "I heard you from the outside, it sounded like you were...choking..." He stopped. Allura did not face him, she was looking down, still on her knees and her palms facing the floor. 

"Coran..." Allura's voice had never sounded so frightened.

The royal advisor immediatly put the pieces together. His eyes grew wide in horror as he saw what the princess was looking at exactly.

Her body was trembling as her tears fell on top of a Juniberry bud.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Wow, my first voltron fanfic, technically my second actual fanfic ever made. I really do hope whoever reads this is entertained. I intend for it to be a simple but beautiful story.  
> Thanks for nachseon, who doesn't even know who I am, but they created a beautiful and tragical Lotura Hanahaki oneshot which inspired me to do this. Hanahaki is such a poethic desease, maybe that's why i feel so interested about it. Stories about it have great potential for sadness and hapiness, it's a very powerful and inspiring thing in my opinion.  
> Anyway, I hope once more that you enjoy the story of this humble writer. If there are any mistakes let me know and if my writing isn't to your liking than I apologize, but I am very new to this and if you happen to have any constructive criticism I'll take it gadly.  
> Spread the love in all fandoms, (specially the Voltron fandom, goodness knows we need it) and remember: Is there anything that's worth more than peace and love on the planet Earth?
> 
> PS: If you manage to find out by actually searching the Altean Alphabet what is the Earth equivalent of the instrument Allura plays, I'll be impressed and you are awesome!
> 
> EDIT: I changed the name of Merla's planet realizing that the word "Cossak" already existed in the english vocabulary so I decided to change for something that sounded a bit more from outter space.


	2. Compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I changed the name of Merla's planet (mentioned last chapter) realizing that the word "Cossak" already existed in the english vocabulary so I decided to change for something that sounded a bit more from outter space.

Lotor had arrived at his home planet. As he left his ship he was greeted by two guards.

"Your highness, your mother, Empress Honerva, requires your presence. We are to escort you to her."

Lotor noded and followed the guards. He would lie if he said he wasn't taken aback by his mother's solicitation to talk to him so quickly. He knew he was needed but he hoped he would have some time to rest after the long journey.

The prince walked through the halls, purple and white lights iluminated his path and yet the castle seemed so dark. He felt the coziness of his home, but Lotor couldn't help to notice about how every column, every building, how everything in Galran architecture was straight, sharp and dark, a powerful indicative of how mighty and even fearsome their nation and their people were. It contrasted with the rounds and whites of every construction of the Altean empire, the clear blue lights everywhere matching the clear sky of the planet's atmosphere always seemed so regal and powerful and still so friendly, so inviting.

Altea always felt like home for him too. 

And in a certain way it really was. He wasn't born there but a part of him would always belong to Altea, not only because of his heritage, but also because of the bond he had formed with the people and the land. Lotor had an inclination for magic and he grew to find out that every land emanates different energies, something similar to a natural scent, and the places he felt most attracted to were always Altea and Daibazaal, but there was always a bigger connection with Altea.

There was also a bigger connection with Allura...

She also shared this same connection. Allura actually had an even deeper bond with magic than him, maybe because she had a better understanding of the way things worked, she was raised to study altean alchemy while Lotor wasn’t.

He looked up to Allura as someone like him, who was destined for great things. Maybe they could even achieve things together... He always talked of how he would take her to Oriande and of how they would unlock the secrets of all altean knowledge and alchemy. He always imagined Allura and him, side by side bringing peace to the universe, being remembered as legends, as heroes.

It was in one of those day dreams about their future that Lotor noticed he would always imagine Allura sitting in a throne next to him or at his side on the research table or lacing her fingers in his as they explored lost temples in distant lands.

After that little realization he would think about her everyday, each time recognizing more things he liked about the altean princess: her mannerisms, that sweet voice and how it would feel if it were whispering in his ear, how she smiled when she looked at him and how those eyes were as beautiful as a supernova, how Allura was... well, alluring.

He always felt comfortable talking about his dreams and ambitions with her because he knew she would never judge them the way he knew his parents would. Allura was strong and brave, Allura was comforting, Allura was always there for Lotor and gave him a type of love that nobody could ever replace.

Allura... He was in love with Allura!

Since the moment Lotor found that out he had been trying to find the courage to tell her. He tried to "pave" the way or so to say. He would complement her more often, look into her eyes more affectionately (that wasn't hard at all), try to touch her hand when possible without being disrespectable. Give her little hints of his feelings so when the time for his confession would come she wouldn't be caught completely off guard.

His thoughts were interrupted when he reached the research room. His mother, studying as always, didn't notice him entering.

"Mother." 

Honerva stopped what she was doing and turned to greet her son.

“Lotor, I’m glad you’re finally back. We have a lot to talk about.” Her face was serious, she seemed aprehensive.

“Yes, you seemed very urgent when you asked me to come back. I imagine it isn’t only because of this new epidemy, otherwise you would have been more direct about it.”

“You’re right. This is about a new treaty with King Palau from Planet Calyac. Your father is in an important reunion with his generals regarding this matter so he can’t be here now. I am here to inform you about this treaty and the conditions for its conclusion as it will envolve you.”

“I see, but mother, why couldn’t you just give me a pad with the all info I needed?” Lotor came a little closer to his mother’s desk as she raised her hands up moving the screens in front of them.

“Recently we have discovered that Calyac developed a new kind of weaponry tech unlike anything we’ve ever seen. Your father knows our militaries could be greatly benefected with this and so he called upon King Palau and started discussing about a fair trade.”

“And what do they want from us?”

Honerva paused and looked directly at her son.

“An aliance.”

Lotor’s eyebrow raised.

“Palau offered his middle daughter, Princess Merla, as a way to seal the treaty and form an aliance with our nations. You two are to be married and when you light the flame of the next Kral Zera she is to be the new Empress of the Galra Empire.”

Lotor’s eyes grew wide, he tried to hide his shock but this was too much.

“What? An arranged marriage? But we haven’t done that in thousands of decaphoebs.”

“I know, I understand your consternation but you also have to understand that both our nations have a lot to gain with this.”

He slid a hand through his hair and took a few steps away from the table looking at the floor. What was he to do now? What about... What about Allura?

“I....Mother, there is something...” Should he tell her?

“What is it?” Quiznack, he already started talking.

 Lotor clasped his hands behind his back and started pacing towards the window.

“It has been a long time since I’ve been thinking about this. I already intended to propose to someone else. Princess Allura.”

“King Alfor’s daughter?” Now it was Honerva’s turn to be in shock. “You have feelings for her?”. Lotor slowly turned his head so she could face him, he nodded.

“I must say I’m amazed. I knew you two were friends but I never imagined.” She walked and placed herself next to her son facing the dark starry night outside along with him.

“So you are giving up on being your father’s succesor to the throne?”

Lotor shut his eyes tight. _Of course_. Altea’s rules of succession were a bit simpler than the Galra’s: the King and Queen’s offspring would be the next in line. Allura was Alfor’s only daughter and therefore his only heir to the throne. If Lotor was to marry Allura she could not leave her kingdom to rule another, he would have to be the one to leave the Empire. If he married Allura he wouldn’t be able to attend the Kral Zera.

Lotor thought about this over and over for movements. Another reason why he didn’t tell Allura about his feelings. In case she accepted him, he would like to have a well thought out plan for his future. _Their_ future.

“Lotor!” Her voice sounded impatient. “Are you telling me you do not wish to be the next Emperor? To follow the steps of your father?”

“I don’t know yet. I have been thinking about this for so long. I have many plans for when I become ruler and I am almost sure I could accomplish them no matter where I rule. And-“

“And have you thought about how the Galra Empire would react? How your father would react?” Lotor was suprised to see his mother looking so sad, it was not a feeling he would often see on her face.

“You know the Galra are a very proud race, they don’t always look kindly upon mixed race Galra, so you can imagine how difficult it was for some of the most radical factions of the Empire to accept me as Empress.”

“I know.” Lotor knew very well the taste of prejudice for having “impure blood”.

“Lotor, you had to work harder then the others to prove yourself capable of ruling this empire and win our people’s respect. If you went off to rule Altea all that work could go to waste. Who knows if the next Emperor would want to make bussiness with Altea if the son of Emperor Zarkon is rulling there, they could think of you as a deserter.”

“A traitor.” Lotor looked at her with a bitter expression. He understood her point, but it didn’t make it any less painfull to hear.

Honerva caugh herself noticing the effect of her words. She let out a sigh and used her hand to cup the right side of his face.

“Lotor... I just don’t want you to suffer. I know you have feelings for her but this union could revolutionize our empire again. And even if you did choose to go to Altea, your father-.”

He took his mother’s hand from his face and held it with his hands. “He didn’t call me here to make a decision, did he? I’m only here to learn about my fate.”

“I’m afraid so.” Both of them held sad dull faces. Lotor was trying to process the entire conversation. He didn’t have much time for Honerva soon broke the silence.

“Lotor, I think it’s best you head back to your quarters. You had a long day, my son, you should rest.”

“You’re right.” He released her hand and started walking towards the door only to turn around one last time. “Oh, I apologize but I won’t be joining you and father for dinner tonight. I still have things to do and I’ll probably go to sleep right after that.”

“Yes, I’ll tell him him. Rest well then.” She had already turned around to her studies and he closed the door.

* * *

He had things to do alright! He had a lot to think about regarding this storm coming into his life.

His baggage was already unpacked when he reached his room. The purple prince rested his hands on top of his desk and took a deep breath. As he looked up, his eyes stopped on a small circular gadget with a blue button on the side. He took it and pressed the button, it displayed a hologram image of Allura and him. An image captured not so long ago at one of her family’s parties. He remembered how uncharacteristically nervous she was at that night. All he wanted to do was to take her away to Junibeery fields so that she could feel more calm and they could sit among the flowers and be alone together.

Lotor wondered when he would have the chance to do this again? How often would he be able to see Allura after he got married?

Could he ever tell her about his feelings now that he was engaged?

No...It would only make things worse.

To think that he would never have the chance to tell her the truth, to hold her and press his lips against hers, to sleep beside her, wake up beside her, live with her and make all the plans and dreams they had together come true.

It broke him.

Lotor tried to touch Allura’s holographic face when suddenly he felt out of air.

He let the gadget fall to the floor and started coughing. Lotor put a hand on his chest and another on his waist as he used all his strenght to try and take whatever was on his lungs. He became aghast as it kept getting harder and harder for him to breathe.

He was choking and already on his knees when with one last cough he felt something weird on his mouth and it all stopped at once.

Lotor spitted out on the floor whatever was on his mouth. His face was colored in a dark pink that soon lost its color when he saw the juniberry petals.

“No... it can’t be.” His voice was hoarse.

But it was, it undeniably was.

It was ironic that after all that had just hapened that night, Lotor actually did have a choice regarding his future: He could confess his love for Allura and take the risk of dying if he got rejected, or he could forget about his feelings for the princess and never love anyone ever again.

“Quiznack.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all once again for reading my story! 
> 
> Wow this chapter turned out to be a long one, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.
> 
> Please leave me a comment with your thoughts (be nice!), they are the best way to encourage a writer.


	3. Heavy Heart

Coran paced the room with a stern look while Allura sat on her bed.

After finding Allura and...the Juniberry button, Coran rushed to her side and helped her get up, as the princess was too weak to stand on her own.

“Coran, please say something. I am already scared enough as it is.”

He stopped and glanced at her, eyes drowning in worry.

“Princess, we must call your parents.”

“Not now.” She said hurriedly.

“What do you mean?! Princess, we are talking about your very own life. I can’t let you sit there while-while you could...” His voice faltered. “At any moment...”

It was too much for Coran to even think about _it_ , let alone saying it out loud and Allura knew that. The princess looked at the royal advisor and tried to give him some comfort through a soft but tired smile. She extended her hand and he took it as he sat by her side.

“Coran, today was the first time this ever happened. Based on what I know from this desease, I only have seeds and maybe a few buttons on my lungs. I don’t know how long it would take for a full bouquet to be formed but I have hope that it will take some time.”

He didn’t look very convinced.

“I still have time, Coran.”

His eyes faced the ground, as he analyzed her words more carefully.

“Wait a tick, you said this started today...”

“Yes.”

“What caused it?” He turned to look at her again, his eyes narrowed.

 “Actually...who did you fall for?”

Now it was time for Allura to turn her face away and stare at the floor.

Well, this suddenly became very embarassing...

* * *

 

Lotor didn’t sleep.

The coughing came back again about a varga after he had recovered himself from the initial shock and the prince decided to spend the entire night searching everything about this damned desease.

Maybe there was some importat information about it that he hadn’t heard of before, a new progess on the analysis it was currently being made, at least a way to slow it down.

Nothing.

The Hanaki Desease was so new there was barely anything anyone knew about it. However, the doctors and scientists who were working with analysis on the desease managed to find a certain pattern between the victims studied, it wasn’t a very stable one, but enough to create a theoretical diagnose of the stages of the desease. This wasn’t announced publicly for the lack of preciseness but beacause of his authority as prince, Lotor was able to require information from one of their labs.

**_Hanahaki Research, Experiment #01, Final Report_ **

_On the early stages all patients from #1 to #26 described coughing seeds and flower buttons. They proceeded to cough flower petals and in some of the more agravating cases, like patients #3, #7 and #15 to #23, blood._

_The speed in which this sickness is spread varies a lot between the patients, the only theories we have are that it could depend on the intensity of the person’s feelings or the strenght of their immune system, but we weren’t able to confirm it yet._

_Patients #2, and #21, who volunteered to be in the first test of the removal surgeries were healed but, like the information we have received from other systems, they reported “feeling extremely different and unable to feel affected by demonstrations of emotions like love, passion, care or lust.”_

_Patients #3, #4, #19 and #26 were refused by their love interests and were soon reported to be found dead by family members or friends, confirmating yet another information that a refusal will lead to the patient’s death._

_On the final stages, the persong goes to cough full bloomed flowers and blood. It becomes increasingly painful to breathe due to the flower’s roots strangling the victim’s lungs._

_Patients #1, #5, #6, #7, #13, #20 and #25 had their feelings corresponded and were successfuly healed._

_Patients #8, #9, #10, #12, #16 to #18, #23 and #24 decided to go through surgery. Altough since the procedures are still new to our hospital community, three surgeries went under complications and patients #8, #10 and #12 were left with permanent breathing problems. Patient #16 died on the table._

_Remaining patients #11, #14, #15 and #22 succumbed to the desease in their final stages._

“Stars.”

Lotor didn’t even go through the seeds and buttons, he straight out coughed up petals. How bad was his state?

Lotor put the pad he was reading aside. He needed a break, he needed not to think of this for one tick, or maybe a doboshe, or a varga, or even-

“Lotor!”

As if on cue, Honerva entered his room in a hurry, completely unannounced.

He almost wondered what was his mother doing being awake in the middle of the night but then he remembered it was _his_ mother, a woman who had a terrible habit of spending full nights being awake for the sake of her work.

He must have been a strange sight when she barged in. Lotor was sitting on his desk, sorrounded by pads, heavy bags under his eyes, even his usually perfectly maintained hair was messy. But of course, what really called her attention was the fact that there was an alarming quantity of Juniberry petals around her son.

Honerva was begining to understand the situation.

“I was notified that you received classified information from a lab from another system. I read the file and it was about this Hanahaki Desease.” Her voice failed as she pronounced these last two words. “I wanted to believe that it wasn’t true, that you were just researching about it but...” She looked at the petals scattered and let out a sigh “How long has it been?”

“Since yesterday.”

“Do you know what you are going to do about it?”

“Thinking.”

“I see.”

“I think we are both too tired to have this conversation.”

Or maybe it was just him, he didn’t really know.

“You’re right.” She was looking everywhere but him, trying to figure out something to say, she didn’t know what to do.

A few ticks of silence went by and Honerva headed to leave the door. She stopped and looked at Lotor, who was rubbing his eyes with the tip of his fingers.

She suddenly remembered how he did the same movements when he was tired since he was a baby and how much she loved seeing him do that.

That little boy who always searched for adventure, sneaking up on his father’s ship trying to go out with him on his missions only to be caught on the last tick, watching her work on her lab and sleeping on her lap as he tried to stay awake with her. Always so eager to learn everything.

And here he was, trying to learn everything he could to save his own life.

Honerva walked back to her son, put her hands on his shoulders and kissed the top of his head.

“We are going to figure this out.”

Somehow, Lotor felt lighter. His mother wasn’t the most affectionate person he knew, but everytime she did demonstrate her nurturing side he could feel the sincerety in her actions. He managed to weakly smile at her.

“Now go to sleep. I have a few matters to attend to.”

Lotor got up from his chair as his mother left his room.

A weight in her chest, there were decisions to be made.

* * *

 

Honerva entered her room. Her husband was sleeping and she sat by his side on their bed.

"Zarkon, Zarkon wake up."

The Emperor barely opened his eyes, his voice deeper than usual.

"Hum?...My love it's very late, come here, you must sleep."

"I must talk with you. It's about Lotor."

His eyes were fully open now to see the worried expression painted in his wife's face and he sat up.

"What happened?"

Honerva explained the sitution as best as she could as he listened quietly. 

Like his wife, Zarkon also showed a rough and maybe even cold exterior, but he loved his son nonetheless. Whenever the young prince engaged on battle or went on more dangerous missions, Zarkon never feared for him for he knew Lotor's strenght. He always trusted his son to win his own battles and at that, the Emperor had never been disapointed. But now, Lotor was facing a battle that he couldn't win and for the first time, the idea of losing his son crawled into his mind making him fear like he never knew he could.

"I must talk to him."

He jumped out of the bed and headed for the door but Honerva quickly grabbed his hand. The hurt was visible in both of their faces.

"No. He went through so much today, he needs to rest."

"Honerva, we don't know how much time we have."

"You are not going to solve all of this tonight, it’s not as simple as that." She raised her tone and he shouted in response.

“I don’t care!  My son, _our_ son can die, this is not the time to rest!”

“Do you think I’m not scared either?”

“You seem calm enough to just kiss him goodnight and waist time when we could be finding a solution for this right now.”

“How dare you? Do you even know why this started in the first place? It’s because _you_ are forcing him to marry that woman!”

“You know how important that aliance is for our planet. Do you want us to simply break our treaty like that?”

“I’m impressed, you seemed very worried for our son a doboshe ago. Why is that damned aliance more important than him now?”

“It is not. But you know there is a safer way to cure him and we can still proceed with our negotiations as planned.”

There was a pause.

Honerva looked at him incredulously.

“You want him to go through the surgery?”

“And you want him to take the risk and go confess his love to Allura? What if she rejects him? I am not risking Lotor’s life like that.”

They were both panting. As they regained their composure, Honerva held her gaze away from him and her usual analytical expression returned.

“Alright, then lets assume he actually goes through with the surgery. He will lose his emotions, he won’t be able to love again. Not Allura, not Merla and not even us. He will become a cold hard stone, is that the bright future you see for him?”

“Don’t make it seem as if I am enjoying this. I’m choosing what’s best for him.”

“Or what’s best for you. He is a grown man, Zarkon, shouldn’t he be the one to make this decision?”

“If he does, he will go after her. I am _not_ taking that risk.”

“And yet you are taking a risk with this surgery. Have you read _anything_ about it? Everything about this is too new, the doctors from others systems are only now adjusting to these procedures while the doctors from here have never even dealt with Hanahaki before! Lotor can die during that surgery as well.”

“It’s still the safest route.”

“There is no safest route!” She shouted as tears started rolling down her face.

The silence came back.

Honerva sat again on their bed, Zarkon went to sit by her side. She closed her eyes and he put a hand on her shoulder.

“I can’t lose him.”

Zarkon would have liked to say he was as terrified as her, he would have liked to cry too, but he refused. He had never seen his love like that, he didn’t want to make her more scared by showing his fears too. He didn’t want to seem weak in front of her.

Honerva, on the other hand, wouldn’t have minded if he had done all of those things. She wouldn’t have considered weakness. She knew it was a part of his nature to never show fear, but that mask he put on just increased her worries. Then she rembered what Lotor had said a few vargas ago.

“I think we are too tired to have this conversation.”

She felt him taking his hand from her shoulder.

“Maybe you’re right.” Zarkon was still staring at her, his throat was burning. “Maybe our thoughts will be clearer tomorrow.” She didn’t respond.

* * *

 

As Lotor, Honerva and Zarkon laid on their beds, a million thoughts ran throught their heads. Analyzing the choices they had, what they were putting at risk, what they could win and what they could lose. What would be the best choice for everyone or just for themselves, and how much time did they have to make them. Who were they willing to hurt, others or themselves...Those kind of thoughts can make a head hurt and the heart can only grow heavier in one’s chest.

The royal family didn’t sleep well that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to bring you this chapter but I was going through my tests in college and was also stuck in a place in the story and didn't know how to get out.  
> When the ideas came back I ended up having to reorganize the divisions of the chapters. So now I am currently working on the fourth part but I am not exactly sure how many chapters this story is going to have now, it shouldn't take that many more, maybe about 6 but I'm not sure.
> 
> Anyway, see you guys next chapter. Enjoy!


	4. Blush

Whenever the princess wanted to confide in someone, whether it was about a new discovery in the palace or a wish or even when she fancied someone, she would always turn to Lotor. But now, he was the last person with whom she wanted to talk about this whole matter.

Allura had no choice, she knew her life was at risk and she did trust Coran. He was always like a second father to her, but maybe that was what made it harder for her.

She sighed. “It is... Prince Lotor.”

“WHAT?! Oh my stars, princess. What do-, how did you-, SINCE WHEN?” Coran’s eyes almost popped out of his face, the poor old man was all over the place.

“I wouldn’t know exactly, it has been a couple of decaphoebs.”

“DECAPHOEBS? And it didn’t occur you to tell me?” Well, now he was pouting. Allura looked at him with a sour expression. “I don’t tell you everything, Coran.”

“What? What else are you hiding from me?”

“I’m not hiding anything, I just respect my own privacy!”

Coran looked at her almost as if he was offended, but then deflated and admitted his defeat.

“Alright, that is not what matters now. What matters is that we must find a solution as quickly as possible. And Princess, whether you like it or not, we have to tell your parents _now_.”

She opened her mouth to protest, stopped herself, and then opened it again.

“I know. However, everything happened so soon, I feel like I haven’t had the time to think about this entire situation. I just wanted to take a moment to absorb everything before I have to explain all of this to more people.”

Coran’s eyes slopped down and he pursed his lips together. “I see... then I’ll leave you to rest. But, please don’t hesitate to call if you need me.”

“I won’t” She smiled thankfully.

The royal advisor was about to leave when she added. “Coran...I will speak with them. I promise.” He nodded and left her chamber.

Allura threw herself back on her pillows and let out a deep sigh.

She was breathing normally. For a moment, she felt like everything was alright.

The night dragged a cool breeze from the outside to her bedroom, blowing her curtains and her hair, and caressing her face. Allura let herself take another deep breath.

The question of how many of those she still had left pondered in her mind. So many paths, so many decisions. She knew that no matter what she chose, her life would change forever. But Allura was still the crowned princess of Altea. She had an obbligation with her people to think of them and the future of their planet when deciding which path her life would take. And for that reason she also had to confer with the King and Queen. And they were her parentes, they had the right to know.

Allura got up from her bed and put on her green robe. Walking anxiously towards her door, when suddenly she remembered something.

“Wait, what time is it...?”

Allura came back and activated the small screen located next to her bed. _Dawn_. Her parents were sleeping without a doubt.

The last thing Allura wanted at the moment was to wake her parents to give them such news. She could wait a couple of vargas, maybe even get some sleep herself. Maybe she would feel more prepared when she woke up.

The princess did think of one more thing before drifting off into sleep...

“ _Lotor. I wonder what you must be doing... Ancients, how are you going to react to this?_ “

* * *

Did Lotor ever have a say in this?

When they woke up, Zarkon told Honerva he would speak with their son as soon as he had the time that day. He took Lotor to one of the many meeting rooms in the palace and stayed there for a about a varga or more. From what she heard from one of the servants everything was quiet, no shouting like it had been with her the night before.

_“Good.”_

When they left the room, she went after her son.

Lotor’s eyes held a sadness to them. He kept his elegant posture but he seemed tired, probably kept waking up in the middle of the night because of... _that._

She anxiously reached for him. “How did it go with your father?”

 “I’ll go through it.”

“What?”

She froze in the middle of the corridor.

“I’ll go through the surgery. Father and I have agreed for me to travel to zone 343 on system Kha-e where he has already scheduled a medical consultation for me.”

“Lotor, are you aware of how dangerous that will be?”

“I have to think of our people, this is what’s best for all of us.” He said it almost as if he was trying to convince himself. “Besides, if I don’t do this I will die. At least with the surgery I have a chance.”

Her eyes widened incredulously. “Do you have any idea of what are you giving up? Lotor I can’t believe you’re actually going to go through this-”

He opened a door hurrying them both to another meeting room. His face a mixture of fear and anger as the door closed.

“And what do you expect me to do, Mother? Go there, pour my heart out to her only to die in front of her?”

He breathed in deeply and turned his gaze away from the Empress.

“I thought you were going to try at least. I cannot believe you are going to give up so easily. What if Allura reciprocates your feelings?

“She doesn’t. I know that.”

“If you were truly sure of that you would be dead.”

“I know. Until I ask her, I will never be completely sure, but Mother... I’ve spent my entire life living with her. I was always the person she would go talk to when she fancied someone and I have done the same thing.”

He sit down, looking defeated. Honerva could only follow him.

“I think not only does she not think of me that way but I might have made her think I don’t have feelings for her either. I tried showing it before, my feelings, that is. Acting different. But she always seemed to get nervous when I acted like that, like she didn’t know what to do, like she was uncomfortable. If I go there and confess...”  His eyes were glassy looking at the deep space on the other side of the window. “The last thing I want is for Allura to blame herself for my death.”

Honerva couldn’t hold her tears.

“If that really is your final decision...then I’ll respect it.”

“I’m ready to deal with the consequences of my choices.”

He got up from the chair. Honerva whipped her tears and Lotor opened his arms reaching to hug her. They clinged to each other like they were already saying goodbye.

Lotor shut his eyes tight. “Mother I love you _so much_.”

Honerva wondered what it would be like to not be able to feel love anymore. How empty he would feel.

“I know. I love you too, Lotor... my son... I love you more than you could ever imagine.”

“I’ll be going in two quintants and the doctors there will make an exam on my conditions. We think their analysis should be better than anything our doctors could find since they have been dealing with Hanahaki for more time.”

“Alright.”

He offered her his arm, which she took, and they left the room.

* * *

 

Lotor left about 14 vargas ago.

Honerva had finished all of her duties, there were was nothing else to distract her from her thoughts.

They had received the results of Lotor’s exams. His condition was much worse than they thought. According to the doctors, his disease had already advanced to its final stages and was spreading much faster than average. The removal surgery was already scheduled for the next day.

This is it, this is how they were going to save their son’s life. But why did it feel like it was the wrong choice? There was a pain in her chest, an instinct, telling Honerva to act.

And that is exactly what she did.

She raised her arm, reaching for her gauntlet and activated her communicator.

* * *

 

Allura sat down with her parents, they looked anxious as they watched their daughter who showed the same degree of worry in her tone.

“Mother, Father, I spent a long time thinking about how I would say this to the two of you and frankly, I still don’t know how. There is no way to make this easier to say, but I need you to be strong.”

“Allura?”

She inhaled deeply.

“I have been infected with the Hanahaki Disease.”

“What?” Alfor exclaimed, already holding his tears while Melinor stayed silent in shock.  They stayed quiet for a few ticks to let the news sink in, to Allura it felt an eternity. Finally, her mother broke the silence.

“What...Who caused it?”

“Lotor. It started right after I heard the news about his engagement.”

“By the ancients...that is why you were so weak yesterday.” The queen put a hand over her heart and used the other to hold her daughter’s hand. Suddenly she looked confused. “But the engagement hasn’t been officialized yet, where have you heard that?”

“Mother that is not where our focus should be.”

“How long has it been?” Alfor cut through.

“A couple of days.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Actually, I was thinking we could discuss this together. It is _my_ future, of course, but this also concerns the future of my planet. I couldn’t make any rash decisions. And I was hoping for some guidance...” She let a tear run down her cheek… “I am very lost.”

Melinor embraced Allura and caressed her head. “We will always be here to help you, my light.” She backed away to face her. “And we understand. But it is your life and above all things your father and I want you be happy.”

“Your mother is right. We know you have responsibilities, but we don’t want you to choose a path that will make you regret it for the rest of your life.”

“Depending on the decision I make, there might not be much of a life left for me.”

“Allura, don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry, mother, but it is the truth.”

Alfor put a hand on Allura’s shoulder. “Allura, what do you want to do? Don’t answer me what you think you must do, but what you wish for.”

She stopped for a moment. The princess had thought about this a million times, she knew what she wanted to do, but she lacked the courage.

“I want to tell him.”

“Do you think he could be in love with you too?”

“I-I don’t know. Maybe? We have always been close and the way he acts around me... well, I could be interpreting wrong. Then again, I am not absolutely certain that is the best course of action. It would be too risky to go to him, but I would be sealing my fate if I didn’t, and there is that surgery...”

“Allura, you will have to make a decision soon. You-”

Suddenly Alfor’s communicator started beeping. “I’ll turn it off.”

“No father, you can pick it up.” He ignored the call anyway, his daughter’s life was at risk and therefore this was his priority.

They would have continued their conversation if Melinor and Allura’s communicators hadn’t started beeping right after that.

“It’s Honerva.” Allura looked at the screen on her gauntlet. “Something must have happened, we should answer her.”

“Allura, don’t you think this is more important?” To say that Alfor was preoccupied was an understatement. “My daughter just gave me the news that her life is in danger, infected with a disease everyone knows so little about. I can’t believe you want to postpone this conversation.”

All of their communicators were calling now. This time even Alfor stared at it wondering.

“Honerva wouldn’t call us like this if it wasn’t urgent.” Allura didn’t leave time for her parents to respond and picked the call. Soon, the Galran empress appeared on screen.

“ _Allura, thank the ancients. I thought I wouldn’t be able to contact you in time._ ”

“Your Majesty, what happened?” Allura saw how fear painted the woman’s face, bringing anxiety back to her chest.

“ _It’s Lotor. He is infected with the Hanahaki disease.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold, Chapter 4! I promised myself that I would post it before the year ended and what do you know? It's December 31st.  
> I finally finished the entire skeleton of the story, the basis for script in other words.  
> I divided the story in 3 arcs and an epilogue, chapter 4 is the end of arc 2, so we are almost there in finishing this journey.  
> I am already working on Chapter 5, so I'll see you guys next year.  
> If you have read so far I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting me, and I'd also like to wish you all a Happy New Year!
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment! See you soon.


	5. Reach Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Remember that episode in season one where Coran told us that boiling hot rocks frequently fell from the sky in Altea?

_“It’s Lotor. He is infected with the Hanahaki disease.”_

Allura’s eyes opened wide. She heard a gasp, wether it came from her mother or herself she didn’t really know.

“I…He is…” The princess didn’t know how to respond.

“ _I don’t have the time now to tell you in detail of the reasons, but you must know, Lotor decided to go throught a removal surgery.”_

“What? No! He can’t!”

“ _Zarkon convinced him.”_ The empress sounded bitter and defeated.

“It’s because of the engagement, isn’t it?”

“ _How do you-?”_ Honerva stopped herself, she knew they didn’t have time to waste. “ _Yes, it is.”_

“I can’t believe Zarkon would make him do this.” Allura heard her mother whisper to herself in disbelief as she approached her daughter’s monitor.

“ _Allura, I recently received news that Lotor’s surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. However, I couldn’t…I couldn’t let him give up without a fight. He said he was certain he would receive a refusal, but I need to hear it myself to believe that what he is about to do truly is his last chance.”_

Allura breathed in with anxiousness, her heart stopped for a moment.

_Did that mean that.._

_“Princess, my son is in love with you. Do you share the same feelings in your heart for him?_

“Oh my God.”

He did…he really did love her. He felt the same way about her… and he was going to die because of it. Her heart was fluttering but the weight on her chest came back as soon as she remembered that. She started crying. Was it possible to cry from happiness and fear at the same time?

“Yes.” Allura said smiling through her tears. “I love him with all my heart.”

The princess could see hope striking Honerva’s face clearly. The Empress inhaled deeply and let out a relieved sigh.

_“Then, please, go to him. The doctors said he is in critical condition, we don’t know how much time he has, the disease worked its way on him much too fast. He is on system Kha-e, I would go myself to stop the surgery but…”_

“…You wouldn’t arrive on time. Altea is far closer.”

“ _Allura, I know I might be asking too much of you right now, but please…Please save my son. You’re my only hope.”_

“I muts ask, isn’t this enough to cure _you_?” As the queen inquired, Allura's lungs still felt rather tight and her body weaker, she was still the same way as she did before. 

“ _I’m sorry Melinor. From what my researches told me, the confession must come directly from him for her to be cured.”_

“Then I will go after him.” Hope illuminated the princess’ expression.

“Wait. Allura you can’t go now.” Alfor interrupted.

“I beg your pardon?” Allura’s eyes popped out in shock. “Lotor’s life is on the line. This could save us and you tell me I can’t go?”

“Allura there is a fire storm coming today. If you leave during it you could die!”

The princess put the monitor with Honerva’s face aside and logged on the weather report.

_Quiznack._

“But wait, the storm isn’t supposed to start until a few vargas. If I leave now I have a chance of leaving Altea’s atmosphere safely.”

“Allura, you know very well how those reports can be unpredictable, it says in a few vargas but it could start at any moment. I am not going to risk my daughter’s life like that. I’m sorry.”

Alfor looked at Honerva with sorrow in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Honerva.”

“Have you tried reaching the hospital already?” Melinor added.

“ _Yes, but I haven’t received a response yet. All I got was the result of Lotor’s diagnose from quintants ago. Besides that, I haven’t been able to communicate with them at all.”_

It was bad timing after bad timing. _Lotor you idiot, why did you decide to do that?!_

No, getting mad wouldn’t solve this situation. There was no other choice. It was up to Allura. She had a chance to save them both and she was going to take it, even if it meant risking her own life for it. But how was she going to leave? Allura had to think fast.

“Father, you could try to contact the hospital too. We are closer to the area, maybe there is a bigger chance of communicating with them.”

“Alright, Honerva, send me the contacts to the area. I’ll go talk with Coran.”

Turning her head to her mother, Allura added:

 “Maybe you should go with him, mother. We need all the help we can get.”

Melinor stared at her daughter for a few ticks, analyzing her expression while Allura tried to look as natural and unsuspecting as she could, and then nodded.

The queen left the room and Honerva sent them the information, but Allura still saw worry in the face of the Empress.

“ _Allura, I thank you, but I doubt they will be able-“_

“Send me the coordinates.”

“ _What?”_

“I am going after him, I’ll leave now.”

“ _What about the fire storm?”_

“If I don’t save Lotor, I am going to die either way. I am ready to take all the risks.”

Hope struck like a lightning in Honerva’s face. Allura could swear she saw tears forming at the edge of her eyes.

“ _Allura…thank you.”_

“Thank me once I bring him back, Your Majesty.” She smiled kindly at the empress. “Now, I must hurry.”

“ _Please be safe. May the ancients' light guide you.”_

“Thank you.” As Allura ended the call, she received the coordinates for her journey.

* * *

 

The princess went back into her room, grabbed her flight suit and discreetly walked towards the Castle’s hangar.

She tiptoed her way into the nearest pod and as she was about to enter it, a familiar voice echoed near her.

“Allura” It sounded shaky and apprehensive. She turned to see her mother right behind her.

“Please don’t stop me. You know that if Lotor goes through with this I will also have to. You and father will lose me if I don’t go.”

A tear rolled down Melinor’s cheek, it made Allura want to cry too, but she didn’t allow herself to.

“And if he dies…with me knowing I could have done something about it…” Now her own voice sounded shaky, but still determined.

“I am not here to stop you.” Melinor shook her head, putting a hand on her chest. A few tears still falling from her crystalline eyes. “You will need someone to authorize the ship to leave the planet.”

Allura looked shocked, but immediately got down from the pod and jumped into her mother’s arms hugging her tight.

“I promise I will come back.”

“I have faith in you, I know how strong you are, my light. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Melinor reluctantly let her go. As Allura started the pod’s engines, the queen headed for the control room.

* * *

 The sky was dark when Allura’s pod flew away from the hangar. She set the pod at full speed; there was no time to waist.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a figure quickly passed by her left. It was too fast for the princess to see what it was, so she kept moving forward.

Allura barely had time to properly think about it when the alarm of her sensors started beeping loudly and she saw a giant flaming rock falling at full speed in her direction.

She harshly turned the pod to the right only to have its ceiling collide against another boiling rock. Allura activated the shields and put the thermal map on the main screen.

Amidst a plethora of flaming rocks, Allura did as best as she could to swerve them. Every hit made the flight even harder; things were not going to go down smoothly.

She was getting closer now to the limits of Altea’s atmosphere, all it would take was the right moment to go through one of the clouds before another rock fell from them.

And Allura had already found the perfect spot.

Now to just move the controls-

_Uh?_

No.

That filling sensation in her lungs.

_No._

“Not now.” She said squirming.

It was already making her muscles tremble. Allura started coughing, gasping for breath. The feeling blurring her vision.

_Ancients, please, this can’t be happening._

She lost her chance, a boiling rock was already falling her way.

Allura managed to dodge in time but now she didn’t know where she was going anymore.

The princess used all her strength to get that damned flower to pop out of her body. Her eyes were bloody red and she felt like her throat would disintegrate. Meanwhile, the pod took hit after hit and the shields were reaching its limits.

Allura needed to take control of this situation _now_ if she didn’t want her pod to crash and burn with her in it.

She stopped coughing. The button was still inside her lungs, but she decided to hold her breath for as long as it was physically possible and focus on the rocks.

Tears rolled down a pair of angry blue eyes as they scanned through the sky searching for another opening while avoiding more hits.

_I am… not… going… to die!_

Her determination filled every fiber in her being. It was if another being possessed her body. Allura started dodging every single obstacle coming her way. Now that she reached a higher altitude, she was able to use the shooting beams in her pod to blast the rocks without the risk of hitting people or animals on the ground.

Shooting rock after rock, Allura could feel her body giving in. She would black out or suffocate any time now if she didn’t escape this storm.

Allura directed the pod higher and…

_There!_

She finally found a gap in the clouds, using her last bits of strength she turned the pod’s nose up and set it to full speed.

Going throught the clouds, the princess finally left Altea and found herself in space. She opened her mouth. Before she could express any reaction of relief, Allura threw up the juniberry button out.

The princess laid her forehead on the control column, painting heavily and letting the tears of pain and exhaustion fall from her eyes to her lap.

Breathing.

She could breathe normally now.

Allura raised her head and looked into the deep space. Activating the positioning system, she inserted the coordinates. With her goal set, the princess set off to her destination.

“I’m coming, Lotor. Wait for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost there everybody! I was really worried while writing this chapter because I had no experience writing action sequences, but I am proud of how it turned out. I hope you all like it too. I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter.
> 
> Leave a comment and see you soon!
> 
> UPDATE: So, chapter 6 is in progress but since college started I haven't been finding a lot of time to work on this fanfic. It might take a little while until I post the next chapter, but don't worry, I will as soon I can.


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